Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone…

…isn’t something I’ve been doing very often during my recovery. Stepping outside the boundaries of where I feel secure has always filled me with some trepidation over the last five years. It has led me to spending time alone and denying myself the pleasure of good company.

The good company comes in the shape of my wife’s family and friends and kids who call me “Grandpa”. Of course, they are all five years older now and I’ve missed some of their growing up.

However, a decision had to be made and I’ve willingly volunteered to subject myself to a 12 hour coach journey into England’s green and pleasant stuff. I’m looking forward to it, with a hint of apprehension, as my health conditions tend to throw up a few unpleasant surprises. But if I prepare properly them things should be relatively ok. When we arrive I know that the first thing I will need is a refreshing cup of tea !

This is a journey that I’ve made many times before and one I would prefer to make by train. It shouldn’t be any problem then, should it ? The difference this time is that I will be making the journey, completely free from alcohol and no artificial bravado installed.

As is customary with a recovering addict, I’ve run the tape forward, and covered every eventuality which won’t occur. Far from making me feel comfortable that I have all bases covered, instead it just serves to induce the trepidation which I feel at the moment. I should know better by now, that life has the uncanny habit of throwing something completely unexpected towards me and rendering all of my previous planning pointless.

What I can take comfort from is the fact that I made the decision to go, and shows that my recovery progress is slowly moving in the right direction. My mindset is only that of leaving in a couple of hours and no thoughts of cancelling or postponing have entered my head. I know , deep down, that this break from the humdrum of my normality will only do me the world of good.

SoberVision

more to come…